How to heal from a bad relationship with your mother

Ost_Jun 30, 2022 · Causes Of Mother And Son Relationship Problems. Insecurity: Possessive, over-protective, manipulative, abusive, and narcissistic behavior originates from a mother’s insecurity. Fear of losing control of her life, feeling ignored, financial problems, a divorce or separation, losing a job, etc. can trigger insecurity. Here are some ways you can begin to move on, according to experts, if you grew up with a toxic mom. 1 Start Therapy Young woman visiting therapist counselor. Girl feeling depressed, unhappy and...1 The Nature of a Broken Mother-Daughter Relationship 2 Understanding the Trauma Behind a Mother's Behavior 3 Humility is Key to Restoring a Broken-Mother Daughter Relationship 4 A Healed Mother-Daughter Relationship 5 What You Must Do to Heal a Broken Relationship When I think of women that inspire me, I do not have to look very far.Separate yourself from your mother and build new, healthy boundaries with her. Exercise your new limits in baby steps. For example, when you disagree, calmly tell your mom: "You have the right to your opinion, but I don't have to agree with you." Leave it at that. 5. Take responsibility for your life.Oct 14, 2021 · This grieved us both. We knew we needed to actively heal the hurts between us and repair and strengthen our relational bond. Knowing we needed help, we turned to Christ in prayer, then followed His lead as He brought incredible beauty out of our mess. I pray He’ll do the same for you. If you have a strained mother-daughter relationship, here ... Here are some ways you can begin to move on, according to experts, if you grew up with a toxic mom. 1 Start Therapy Young woman visiting therapist counselor. Girl feeling depressed, unhappy and...Be patient and be willing to hear your parents' side of the story. 2. Do not bring up past issues when you are trying to solve an immediate issue of concern. 3. Be willing to communicate first and approach your parents first. Don't let your ego come in the way. If you want to fix the relationship from your side, then be willing to make the start.Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance.Dec 20, 2010 · Forgiveness is about being free of this emotional dependency that allows her to control you. Once you see it this way, the notion of forgiving your mother for the things she's done that have hurt you, becomes a lot more appealing. There's a whole chapter in The Confident Man Program Guide about this: Step 8. So let's talk the step-by-step process for dealing with a toxic mother. What You Will Learn Step #1. Understand That It's Okay to Walk Away Step #2. It's Okay to Try and Make It Work Step #3. Be Honest and Real with Yourself Step #4. Reduce the Time You Spend with Her Step #5. Be Careful of Old Patterns Step #6. See a Therapist Step #7.Maybe if your step-daughter, your husband and you go out and have an honest talk with her about your feelings it would help. It may make her feel attacked - in a way - but after it is over she can think about it. Or, write down those feelings in a heartfelt note and let her know how you feel.And, especially if your mother was tired, beleaguered, and preoccupied with the siblings that seemed to always need more. Or, if you were the oldest — expected to care for the younger ones. As loving as you might be convinced your family was (or maybe you didn't feel that way at all), being a child among many siblings can be traumatic.Avoid passive-aggressive or indirect expressions of how you feel. Don't just assume that other people should know how you are feeling: learn how to be direct and tell them. Learn to say: “I feel really hurt when you say that” or. “I feel sad when you criticize me” or. “I feel afraid of your judgments”. May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... Jul 15, 2009 · Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance. After setting goals, use positive reinforcement to help you both reach your goals, Trent says. It's easy to gloss over the little moments when a sibling tries to change their behavior. So ...Aug 04, 2017 · The consequence of this behavior is that you may find yourself often feeling inadequate and with an unhealthy, obsessive desire to please others. 2. Toxic Parents Expect Their Children to Take Responsibility for Them. No child should ever have to bear the burden of parenting their own parents. Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window. Come up with a code word. Dec 14, 2021 · Try not to snap at her, but do discuss how you feel about her behavior toward you. Remember to use “I feel” language instead of accusatory “you always…” phrases. For example: “I feel like you don’t trust my judgement when you try to tell me how to raise my kids,” rather than “you make me feel incompetent as a mother.”. It is important to realize that in order to recover from the damage caused by an abusive mother, you must repair your reality, which has been skewed and damaged by your experience of parenting. The...May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... Mummy's Boy. When the mother makes all the decisions for her son, this can make it incredibly hard for him to escape from this pattern of dependence. It is not healthy for a son to rely on the help of his mother to make decisions. If a son still considers his mother to be the main priority in his life, before even his partner, the ...If she goes on about how much she has sacrificed for you, thank her for having provided so much encouragement, but now you're strong enough to follow your own goals. Acknowledge all that she's done for you, but reiterate that you need to live your life on your own terms.Review your role, first. I suggest doing a meditation to get yourself focused and seeing things clearly. When we're in the throes of a difficult partnership, it's tricky to just sit down and *poof* get an answer. So, instead, grab a free app like Insight Timer, or just sit and calm yourself. Focus on your breathing.With God's comfort and our friends, we let go of the mom we wish we had, to gain wisdom and courage to relate to the real mom we do have. As we allow God to re-parent us with what we need, we find faith and courage to trust God to meet our needs through him and other loving people. 3. You can experience freedom with the truth.We've collected seven steps to healing your relationship after a fight. 1. Immediately after - or during - the fight, take an intentional "timeout". Trying to resolve an argument when you're both feeling emotionally charged is risky - and oftentimes, actually causes further damage. That's why it's important to take timeouts ...4. Seek professional help. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there's been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who ...Once an addict enters recovery, they must evaluate their friendships and eliminate the unhealthy ones. A recovered addict can rebuild their healthy friendships. The friends will have to adapt to a new, sober lifestyle for the recovering addict. Some friendships will not survive, even with the best intentions.Acceptance Handle confronting your mother with care if you want to mend a broken relationship and avoid old patterns of communicating. Discussing the issues in a calm, rational manner can keep the emotions low key and help you to stick to the facts, according to Family Education. Your mother may not be willing or able to change.Sep 15, 2018 · How to fix a mother-daughter relationship is a question with many answers. But it can’t be done in a day. As long as underlying issues aren’t dealt with, you’ll have problems. Try to follow this mother-daughter relationship advice to redevelop your bond and give up control on issues that aren’t yours to control. Avoid passive-aggressive or indirect expressions of how you feel. Don't just assume that other people should know how you are feeling: learn how to be direct and tell them. Learn to say: “I feel really hurt when you say that” or. “I feel sad when you criticize me” or. “I feel afraid of your judgments”. Healing from emotional abuse is difficult. Period. If you have just left an emotionally abusive relationship (or are thinking of leaving) then you realize that your life has been turned upside down. Your confidence has been battered. You have been on a continuous emotional roller-coaster for a long time. You are exhausted. Jun 06, 2012 · In Difficult Mothers, the Cambridge academic examines the different types of problem mother — controlling, angry, hyper-critical, emotionally unavailable — and explains what can be done to ... May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... jeep meets 2022 Start Out Small. Mending your relationship won't happen overnight, but you can take baby-steps in the right direction. Start out by calling just to say "hi," or sending a sweet text saying you ...Maybe if your step-daughter, your husband and you go out and have an honest talk with her about your feelings it would help. It may make her feel attacked - in a way - but after it is over she can think about it. Or, write down those feelings in a heartfelt note and let her know how you feel.Set realistic expectations. During your healing journey, you will likely get healthier but this does not mean that your mother will change. Be prayerful that she does, but the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12a, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”. When someone shows you who they are, you would be wise to believe them. Acknowledge the rift: In a calm moment, let your child know what you've observed and how you feel about it. Your child's response may vary. They may agree, disagree, be indifferent, angry or annoyed. Whatever their response, keep the focus on your own thoughts and feelings, rather than forcing them to agree or feel the same.Turning to external matters to self-soothe. The Mother Wound may have left a grown-up man a hollow feeling inside and he doesn't know why. You may feel lost. You may have found external matters to help you with self-soothing as you don't have an image of a soothing (m)other to turn to.Dec 18, 2019 · When you’ve committed to living a life of radical self-love, having strategies for how to respond to and even heal your toxic family relationships is imperative. Here are seven ways to pursue just that — and center your own emotional well-being in the process. 1. Get Clear. Reflect on your relationships with family. Jul 13, 2022 · Being aware of the toxic relationship is the first step, but you don’t have to wait for your mother to be aware of the toxic relationship to start the healing for yourself. If you’re unsure how to navigate your toxic mother-daughter relationship and need some guidance, reaching out to a licensed family therapist could be a great place to start. Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance.In attempting to keep the mother-daughter connection alive, the mother may ask questions that the daughter sees as intrusive, or give advice, which the daughter interprets as interfering. Deborah Tannen, the author of numerous books on family dynamics, writes, "Given mothers' overactive improvement glands and daughters' overactive disapproval ...Get Unstuck. Waiting for your mother to approach you won't change anything but taking that first step toward attempting to heal your relationship may. Change the manner in which you approach your mother. Over time, she will likely have to change her response in order to continue communicating with you. Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ... oregon state fair vendors Be a cheerful giver. If you don't want to do something, or can't find a way to do it joyfully, don't do it. It's OK to say no. In fact, it's often good to say no. Sometimes your yes just enables your mother to stay stuck in her poor behavior. Even Jesus said no to his family when he needed to. (Matthew 12:46-50).Dec 14, 2021 · Try not to snap at her, but do discuss how you feel about her behavior toward you. Remember to use “I feel” language instead of accusatory “you always…” phrases. For example: “I feel like you don’t trust my judgement when you try to tell me how to raise my kids,” rather than “you make me feel incompetent as a mother.”. May 08, 2015 · 1. Find Common Interests: Spending relaxed time together while discovering common hobbies and interests helps deepen the mother-daughter bond. For example, we connect over yoga and almost always squeeze in a class when we are together. When we are apart, we chat on the phone about books we are reading. I believe if we can heal this relationship on a real level, it can teach women how to heal their relationship in the future leading to much happier lives. Having a poor relationship with your mother, especially for teens and young adults can make them angry and anger can lead to bad life choices that can affect their lives for a lifetime.“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop ... Take a deep breath. If your sister or brother makes you angry, try to take a break for a few minutes and cool down. [6] If you yell at them right away, it can turn into a big argument and it will be difficult to get things back to normal. [7] 6. Talk to your parents.Sep 09, 2021 · 4. Seek professional help. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there’s been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who ... "If you're uncomfortable with talking about your feelings, hurt or otherwise, out loud, try practicing what you're going to say a few times before you actually sit down with your mother," Graham...1 The Nature of a Broken Mother-Daughter Relationship 2 Understanding the Trauma Behind a Mother's Behavior 3 Humility is Key to Restoring a Broken-Mother Daughter Relationship 4 A Healed Mother-Daughter Relationship 5 What You Must Do to Heal a Broken Relationship When I think of women that inspire me, I do not have to look very far.Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ... 10 Things Mothers Can Do To Improve The Mother-Son Relationship Listen And Empathize A mother's job is 24/7. It can get tiring. In the chaos, mothers often forget to listen and empathize. However, it's not too late. Start listening to your son and understand his point of view. Does he need your attention or love? Are you being too imposing?Aug 14, 2019 · Talk With Friends. While therapy can be a big help, there are lots of other ways to get your emotions out and gain perspective. You may want to turn to another family member, for instance, or a ... Sep 09, 2021 · 4. Seek professional help. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there’s been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who ... May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... Mar 08, 2021 · Step #1. Understand That It’s Okay to Walk Away. This is one of the hardest decisions you can make. Nip the evil right in the bud. Having to walk away from your mother is not an easy task but sometimes very necessary. It is possible to have a healthy relationship that is free from negativity. 3. Not all conflict is a sign of a problem. Much like you may begin to view all relationships as unfavorable, repeat trauma can cause you to believe that all conflict is a threat or a sign of trouble. This is also untrue.In a healthy mother-daughter relationship, each adult takes responsibility for her own actions and for the relationship. There is no passing the buck. Mothers and daughters cannot solve each other's problems. They can support, guide, and assist. However, each party owns her own problems. Intimacy is achieved through self-disclosure, love, and ...Strive for closure on your side and move on. 11. Shift your focus. Do not dwell on the pain and hurt of “losing” a relative. Don’t focus on trying to grapple with the toxic relationships in your life. Build upon the positive ones you have instead. Accept the cards that life has dealt you and make the best of them. This is why the first step to healing from emotional abuse is acknowledging it. 2. Identify the Effects of Abuse. Even if we try to deny the abuse, we can't deny its impact. Some of the consequences of abuse have to do with your emotional and physical wellbeing. Others are more insidious and pervasive.Nov 20, 2020 · It is possible to have a healthy relationship that is free from negativity. 3. Not all conflict is a sign of a problem. Much like you may begin to view all relationships as unfavorable, repeat trauma can cause you to believe that all conflict is a threat or a sign of trouble. This is also untrue. The truth, unfortunately, was far from it. So, with her strong denial of my reality and her inability to let go of the selfishness, control and manipulative behavior that caused so much pain in the first place, healing the fallout from our relationship was a journey I walked alone. Sometimes, the apple can fall far from its treeHealing when your mother is no longer with you. When you can't call your mother to tell her about your parenting experiences or ask why she behaved in a way that hurt you, it's time to find a new...Sep 18, 2019 · To heal, you need to disconnect emotionally and possibly physically from your hurtful mother. Decide how much contact with her you will have. Build meaningful connections with others. Did you know... Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ...Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. Sep 24, 2016 · 2. Mother Yourself. I didn't treat myself well, and it was catching up to me. I didn't eat right, make time for exercise, spend time with friends, or have hobbies. I didn't feel like I deserved good treatment—not from others, and not from myself. I knew changing that belief was central to improving my life. The Hardest Two Words: "I'm Sorry". The power of a sincere apology cannot be overestimated. You can't just offer a blanket "I'm sorry," though, and expect dramatic results. It's essential to ...Dec 18, 2019 · When you’ve committed to living a life of radical self-love, having strategies for how to respond to and even heal your toxic family relationships is imperative. Here are seven ways to pursue just that — and center your own emotional well-being in the process. 1. Get Clear. Reflect on your relationships with family. escort girl shemale Avoid passive-aggressive or indirect expressions of how you feel. Don't just assume that other people should know how you are feeling: learn how to be direct and tell them. Learn to say: "I feel really hurt when you say that" or. "I feel sad when you criticize me" or. "I feel afraid of your judgments".5. Some injuries last a lifetime, but can be reasons to grow. Mental and emotional abuse is damaging. My mother often tried to manipulate me into believing everything in her life was someone else ...Jun 06, 2012 · In Difficult Mothers, the Cambridge academic examines the different types of problem mother — controlling, angry, hyper-critical, emotionally unavailable — and explains what can be done to ... May 01, 2018 · A supportive therapist, personal coach, religious leader like a pastor or rabbi, or older family member can be good options when looking for someone to fill this role. You want to find someone who... On a personal level: The mother wound is an opportunity for healing and for transformation. "Transform" does not imply removing or fixing the traumas and scars from our childhood that we all carry. Transformation is about slowly developing a new relationship with what is difficult in your life, such that it is no longer a controlling factor. Q.If they don't want to talk. "Hopefully, the other person will be receptive, and you can start over with your family connection," Tessina said. "Plan a time to get together, and keep the connection going with periodic contact, even if you just text 'I hope your day is good' from time to time." However, you have to be okay with the fact that they ...Aug 14, 2019 · Talk With Friends. While therapy can be a big help, there are lots of other ways to get your emotions out and gain perspective. You may want to turn to another family member, for instance, or a ... Oct 14, 2021 · This grieved us both. We knew we needed to actively heal the hurts between us and repair and strengthen our relational bond. Knowing we needed help, we turned to Christ in prayer, then followed His lead as He brought incredible beauty out of our mess. I pray He’ll do the same for you. If you have a strained mother-daughter relationship, here ... Adapted from my book, Daughter Detox: Recovering from An Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life, following are four steps you will have to take to get on the path of recovery: 1. Mourn the ...Embrace your inner child with warmth and acceptance (Walker, 2013). 4. Exercise Self-Care. Because your parent with narcissism has trained you to focus only on their reactions, you may be ...Dec 20, 2010 · Forgiveness is about being free of this emotional dependency that allows her to control you. Once you see it this way, the notion of forgiving your mother for the things she's done that have hurt you, becomes a lot more appealing. There's a whole chapter in The Confident Man Program Guide about this: Step 8. Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. Read the following points of advice to begin your recovery and healing from the damage rendered by your toxic relationship. 1. Create a support network - It is vitally important to have a support system to help you step mentally outside of your toxic situation and see it for what it is from a new angle.Start Out Small. Mending your relationship won't happen overnight, but you can take baby-steps in the right direction. Start out by calling just to say "hi," or sending a sweet text saying you ...With God's comfort and our friends, we let go of the mom we wish we had, to gain wisdom and courage to relate to the real mom we do have. As we allow God to re-parent us with what we need, we find faith and courage to trust God to meet our needs through him and other loving people. 3. You can experience freedom with the truth.3) Recognize that she may not have the capacity to change. Grieve what you need to grieve. She may be living a miserable life, but not know or have the insight to change her belief system. She's even less likely to understand the impact of her behavior on you and others. Thus, you have to grieve."If you're uncomfortable with talking about your feelings, hurt or otherwise, out loud, try practicing what you're going to say a few times before you actually sit down with your mother," Graham...Occurrences of prolonged rages and angry outbursts are common. Criticism: Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder often hurl put-downs and insults at their children. As children are often seen by their BPD mothers as merely extensions of themselves, this may reflect feelings the parent has about themselves and represent a form of projection.10 Things Mothers Can Do To Improve The Mother-Son Relationship Listen And Empathize A mother's job is 24/7. It can get tiring. In the chaos, mothers often forget to listen and empathize. However, it's not too late. Start listening to your son and understand his point of view. Does he need your attention or love? Are you being too imposing?Sep 14, 2012 · 3 Humility is Key to Restoring a Broken-Mother Daughter Relationship. 4 A Healed Mother-Daughter Relationship. 5 What You Must Do to Heal a Broken Relationship. When I think of women that inspire me, I do not have to look very far. That woman is my mom. However, I did not always feel that way about her. Apr 19, 2012 · This year, take stock of how your relationship with your mother has affected your relationship with your romantic partner. First off, celebrate! You are a lucky person indeed. The quality of your relationship with your mother can greatly affect your sense of security and well-being in adulthood, especially for women. Here are a few of the books: -Healing the Wounds of Childhood by Don St John, Ph.D. -Unconditional Forgiveness by Mary Hayes Grieco. -Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves. -Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix. -Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved ... Acknowledge the rift: In a calm moment, let your child know what you've observed and how you feel about it. Your child's response may vary. They may agree, disagree, be indifferent, angry or annoyed. Whatever their response, keep the focus on your own thoughts and feelings, rather than forcing them to agree or feel the same.Dysfunctional Mother-Daughter Relationships: Accept The Unfixable. "Not every relationship should be repaired," says Dr. Wernsman. In cases where dysfunction is a result of physical or emotional abuse that can't or won't be remedied, cutting ties and putting firm distance there could be the most loving thing you can do for yourself.Nov 20, 2020 · It is possible to have a healthy relationship that is free from negativity. 3. Not all conflict is a sign of a problem. Much like you may begin to view all relationships as unfavorable, repeat trauma can cause you to believe that all conflict is a threat or a sign of trouble. This is also untrue. Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ...Jun 06, 2012 · In Difficult Mothers, the Cambridge academic examines the different types of problem mother — controlling, angry, hyper-critical, emotionally unavailable — and explains what can be done to ... Aug 15, 2020 · So for your own peace of mind, adopt a compassionate approach. It’s better to think “I feel sorry for her” than “I hate her.”. 3. Refuse to argue. Arguing with a narcissistic mother is futile because she’s incapable of seeing anyone else’s point of view, and she’s a pathological liar. After setting goals, use positive reinforcement to help you both reach your goals, Trent says. It's easy to gloss over the little moments when a sibling tries to change their behavior. So ...5. Some injuries last a lifetime, but can be reasons to grow. Mental and emotional abuse is damaging. My mother often tried to manipulate me into believing everything in her life was someone else ...And, especially if your mother was tired, beleaguered, and preoccupied with the siblings that seemed to always need more. Or, if you were the oldest — expected to care for the younger ones. As loving as you might be convinced your family was (or maybe you didn't feel that way at all), being a child among many siblings can be traumatic.Accepting your mom will help with forgiving her. Making space for her personality, choices and behaviors will soften your heart and help you find peace in your relationship with your mother. 4. Know: You can forgive your mother for what she did. Accepting your mother for who she is is hard.Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ... May 08, 2015 · 1. Find Common Interests: Spending relaxed time together while discovering common hobbies and interests helps deepen the mother-daughter bond. For example, we connect over yoga and almost always squeeze in a class when we are together. When we are apart, we chat on the phone about books we are reading. 6. Brainstorming. Involve the other person in your attempts to rebuild your relationship. If he or she is talking, he or she is at least interested in hearing what you have to say, put the onus on them and ask for their contribution. 7. Release Control. Always remember to detach yourself from the results in life. And, especially if your mother was tired, beleaguered, and preoccupied with the siblings that seemed to always need more. Or, if you were the oldest — expected to care for the younger ones. As loving as you might be convinced your family was (or maybe you didn't feel that way at all), being a child among many siblings can be traumatic.1. Find Common Interests: Spending relaxed time together while discovering common hobbies and interests helps deepen the mother-daughter bond. For example, we connect over yoga and almost always squeeze in a class when we are together. When we are apart, we chat on the phone about books we are reading.Sep 18, 2019 · To heal, you need to disconnect emotionally and possibly physically from your hurtful mother. Decide how much contact with her you will have. Build meaningful connections with others. Did you know... Take a deep breath. If your sister or brother makes you angry, try to take a break for a few minutes and cool down. [6] If you yell at them right away, it can turn into a big argument and it will be difficult to get things back to normal. [7] 6. Talk to your parents.Toxic mothers may express their anger in negative ways, like through name-calling and yelling. In extreme cases, toxic parents may become violent and abusive. Over time children may develop fear, anxiety, or even violent tendencies themselves in response to this toxicity. 2. She Makes Excessive Demands of You.I believe if we can heal this relationship on a real level, it can teach women how to heal their relationship in the future leading to much happier lives. Having a poor relationship with your mother, especially for teens and young adults can make them angry and anger can lead to bad life choices that can affect their lives for a lifetime.4. Seek professional help. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there's been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who ...The critical relationship. It's okay to be critical of some things, but it's unhealthy to nit-pick everything your daughter says or does. Being overly critical is seen in many mother-daughter relationships. This is why we see so many mothers pressuring their daughters to be more, do more and look better. If a young woman fails, her critical ...Aug 12, 2020 · In attempting to keep the mother-daughter connection alive, the mother may ask questions that the daughter sees as intrusive, or give advice, which the daughter interprets as interfering. Deborah Tannen, the author of numerous books on family dynamics, writes, "Given mothers' overactive improvement glands and daughters' overactive disapproval ... May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... bitcoin address check Apr 19, 2012 · This year, take stock of how your relationship with your mother has affected your relationship with your romantic partner. First off, celebrate! You are a lucky person indeed. The quality of your relationship with your mother can greatly affect your sense of security and well-being in adulthood, especially for women. Whatever is written must be done in a spirit of love and humility, along with a willingness to confess where you may have erred. After writing the letter, put it aside for the night. Then prayerfully read it over the next day. If anything you have written troubles you, consider whether you really want to include it. 2. Mother Yourself. I didn't treat myself well, and it was catching up to me. I didn't eat right, make time for exercise, spend time with friends, or have hobbies. I didn't feel like I deserved good treatment—not from others, and not from myself. I knew changing that belief was central to improving my life.A bad relationship with mother can also be caused because of the absence of boundaries. Opposite to the dismissive relationship, mothers in this type of relationship snoop around and invade the privacy of their children. ... How to heal mother daughter relationships. If you have an unhealthy relationship with mom, you often find yourself ...Issues like substance abuse or mental illness can get in the way of addressing family conflict. If your daughter is willing, a family counselor may be able to help the two of you work through your problems. If your daughter refuses to work on the relationship, going to counseling on your own will help you deal with the situation.Aug 09, 2021 · Bible Verses To Use When Praying To Leave a Bad Relationship 1 Corinthians 15:33 – Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 1 John 4:1 – Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. This grieved us both. We knew we needed to actively heal the hurts between us and repair and strengthen our relational bond. Knowing we needed help, we turned to Christ in prayer, then followed His lead as He brought incredible beauty out of our mess. I pray He'll do the same for you.“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop ... The mother-son relationship is beautiful, and it enhances as the child grows. The son can never imagine his life without his mother, while the mother's affection and care for her son are eternal. However, with time, this relationship could experience certain changes. It doesn't mean that the son has stopped loving his mother, but the ...Sep 18, 2021 · 3) Recognize that she may not have the capacity to change. Grieve what you need to grieve. She may be living a miserable life, but not know or have the insight to change her belief system. She’s even less likely to understand the impact of her behavior on you and others. Thus, you have to grieve. Jul 15, 2009 · Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance. "If you're uncomfortable with talking about your feelings, hurt or otherwise, out loud, try practicing what you're going to say a few times before you actually sit down with your mother," Graham...The mother-son relationship is beautiful, and it enhances as the child grows. The son can never imagine his life without his mother, while the mother's affection and care for her son are eternal. However, with time, this relationship could experience certain changes. It doesn't mean that the son has stopped loving his mother, but the ...10 Things Mothers Can Do To Improve The Mother-Son Relationship Listen And Empathize A mother's job is 24/7. It can get tiring. In the chaos, mothers often forget to listen and empathize. However, it's not too late. Start listening to your son and understand his point of view. Does he need your attention or love? Are you being too imposing?"If you're uncomfortable with talking about your feelings, hurt or otherwise, out loud, try practicing what you're going to say a few times before you actually sit down with your mother," Graham...In a healthy mother-daughter relationship, each adult takes responsibility for her own actions and for the relationship. There is no passing the buck. Mothers and daughters cannot solve each other's problems. They can support, guide, and assist. However, each party owns her own problems. Intimacy is achieved through self-disclosure, love, and ...Jan 10, 2022 · 5. Change your self-talk. If you’ve matured into an adult with a terrible mother, you may have created a negative narrative about your life and your abilities. Saying things like "I don’t deserve to be happy" or "No one will ever love me" may feel true. However, these negative statements won’t make you feel better. Whatever is written must be done in a spirit of love and humility, along with a willingness to confess where you may have erred. After writing the letter, put it aside for the night. Then prayerfully read it over the next day. If anything you have written troubles you, consider whether you really want to include it. Read the following points of advice to begin your recovery and healing from the damage rendered by your toxic relationship. 1. Create a support network - It is vitally important to have a support system to help you step mentally outside of your toxic situation and see it for what it is from a new angle.Maybe if your step-daughter, your husband and you go out and have an honest talk with her about your feelings it would help. It may make her feel attacked - in a way - but after it is over she can think about it. Or, write down those feelings in a heartfelt note and let her know how you feel.This is why the first step to healing from emotional abuse is acknowledging it. 2. Identify the Effects of Abuse. Even if we try to deny the abuse, we can't deny its impact. Some of the consequences of abuse have to do with your emotional and physical wellbeing. Others are more insidious and pervasive.Sep 15, 2018 · How to fix a mother-daughter relationship is a question with many answers. But it can’t be done in a day. As long as underlying issues aren’t dealt with, you’ll have problems. Try to follow this mother-daughter relationship advice to redevelop your bond and give up control on issues that aren’t yours to control. Aug 29, 2019 · 1. Practice ongoing self-care. Dealing with a toxic parent is taxing and often traumatic. Therapy is key if it’s an option for you. Kondili stresses the importance of talking to “someone who ... best suction cup wreath hanger Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ...Here are some ways you can begin to move on, according to experts, if you grew up with a toxic mom. 1 Start Therapy Young woman visiting therapist counselor. Girl feeling depressed, unhappy and...Sep 18, 2021 · 3) Recognize that she may not have the capacity to change. Grieve what you need to grieve. She may be living a miserable life, but not know or have the insight to change her belief system. She’s even less likely to understand the impact of her behavior on you and others. Thus, you have to grieve. Nov 19, 2021 · Our core wounds are our deepest seated pains in life. They are our oldest and most miserable friends. For most of us, these core wounds within us are ruled by the following two mistaken beliefs: 1. “I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”. 2. “I must change or fix something about myself in order to be acceptable.”. Sep 09, 2021 · 4. Seek professional help. Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there’s been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who ... In attempting to keep the mother-daughter connection alive, the mother may ask questions that the daughter sees as intrusive, or give advice, which the daughter interprets as interfering. Deborah Tannen, the author of numerous books on family dynamics, writes, "Given mothers' overactive improvement glands and daughters' overactive disapproval ...Read the following points of advice to begin your recovery and healing from the damage rendered by your toxic relationship. 1. Create a support network - It is vitally important to have a support system to help you step mentally outside of your toxic situation and see it for what it is from a new angle. Sep 14, 2012 · 3 Humility is Key to Restoring a Broken-Mother Daughter Relationship. 4 A Healed Mother-Daughter Relationship. 5 What You Must Do to Heal a Broken Relationship. When I think of women that inspire me, I do not have to look very far. That woman is my mom. However, I did not always feel that way about her. 1. Accept that you are in a difficult situation, dealing with a very difficult relationship. Your choices here are fairly limited, and, strangely, acceptance is always the best choice. You can judge and criticize the other person, but that will probably make you feel tense and lonely. Alternately, you could nurse your anxiety and despair that ...Take a deep breath. If your sister or brother makes you angry, try to take a break for a few minutes and cool down. [6] If you yell at them right away, it can turn into a big argument and it will be difficult to get things back to normal. [7] 6. Talk to your parents.Sep 28, 2019 · In my Romanian culture, there’s a saying that goes like this „what you don’t like, you won’t do to others” and it feels like this is really capturing the essence of what it means to be ... We've collected seven steps to healing your relationship after a fight. 1. Immediately after - or during - the fight, take an intentional "timeout". Trying to resolve an argument when you're both feeling emotionally charged is risky - and oftentimes, actually causes further damage. That's why it's important to take timeouts ...If they don't want to talk. "Hopefully, the other person will be receptive, and you can start over with your family connection," Tessina said. "Plan a time to get together, and keep the connection going with periodic contact, even if you just text 'I hope your day is good' from time to time." However, you have to be okay with the fact that they ... Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance.Acceptance Handle confronting your mother with care if you want to mend a broken relationship and avoid old patterns of communicating. Discussing the issues in a calm, rational manner can keep the emotions low key and help you to stick to the facts, according to Family Education. Your mother may not be willing or able to change.Grieve the loss. "But she's still alive," you say. That may be true, but death is only one form of loss. Many with toxic mothers need to grieve the loss of a loving relationship with their mother, as it will likely never be. Expecting it to change will likely only bring further heartache. I realize this can be painful to admit, but God is ...It is important to realize that in order to recover from the damage caused by an abusive mother, you must repair your reality, which has been skewed and damaged by your experience of parenting. The...Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ...Start Out Small. Mending your relationship won't happen overnight, but you can take baby-steps in the right direction. Start out by calling just to say "hi," or sending a sweet text saying you ...Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. 3. Be willing to communicate first and approach your parents first. Don't let your ego come in the way. If you want to fix the relationship from your side, then be willing to make the start. 4. Be willing to accept and acknowledge your faults in the deterioration of your relationship. This year, take stock of how your relationship with your mother has affected your relationship with your romantic partner. First off, celebrate! You are a lucky person indeed. The quality of your relationship with your mother can greatly affect your sense of security and well-being in adulthood, especially for women.10 Things Mothers Can Do To Improve The Mother-Son Relationship Listen And Empathize A mother's job is 24/7. It can get tiring. In the chaos, mothers often forget to listen and empathize. However, it's not too late. Start listening to your son and understand his point of view. Does he need your attention or love? Are you being too imposing?Start Out Small. Mending your relationship won't happen overnight, but you can take baby-steps in the right direction. Start out by calling just to say "hi," or sending a sweet text saying you ...1 The Nature of a Broken Mother-Daughter Relationship 2 Understanding the Trauma Behind a Mother's Behavior 3 Humility is Key to Restoring a Broken-Mother Daughter Relationship 4 A Healed Mother-Daughter Relationship 5 What You Must Do to Heal a Broken Relationship When I think of women that inspire me, I do not have to look very far.Those you have hurt will release their pain more slowly than you will want their forgiveness. Take responsibility for your actions; let your expectations go and do right anyway. Expect Nothing. No one has to forgive you. More to the point, your children may forgive you and still not want you in their lives.Toxic mothers may express their anger in negative ways, like through name-calling and yelling. In extreme cases, toxic parents may become violent and abusive. Over time children may develop fear, anxiety, or even violent tendencies themselves in response to this toxicity. 2. She Makes Excessive Demands of You.5. Change your self-talk. If you've matured into an adult with a terrible mother, you may have created a negative narrative about your life and your abilities. Saying things like "I don't deserve to be happy" or "No one will ever love me" may feel true. However, these negative statements won't make you feel better.Embrace your inner child with warmth and acceptance (Walker, 2013). 4. Exercise Self-Care. Because your parent with narcissism has trained you to focus only on their reactions, you may be ...The critical relationship. It's okay to be critical of some things, but it's unhealthy to nit-pick everything your daughter says or does. Being overly critical is seen in many mother-daughter relationships. This is why we see so many mothers pressuring their daughters to be more, do more and look better. If a young woman fails, her critical ...Acknowledge the rift: In a calm moment, let your child know what you've observed and how you feel about it. Your child's response may vary. They may agree, disagree, be indifferent, angry or annoyed. Whatever their response, keep the focus on your own thoughts and feelings, rather than forcing them to agree or feel the same.Read the following points of advice to begin your recovery and healing from the damage rendered by your toxic relationship. 1. Create a support network - It is vitally important to have a support system to help you step mentally outside of your toxic situation and see it for what it is from a new angle.Read the following points of advice to begin your recovery and healing from the damage rendered by your toxic relationship. 1. Create a support network - It is vitally important to have a support system to help you step mentally outside of your toxic situation and see it for what it is from a new angle. 6. Brainstorming. Involve the other person in your attempts to rebuild your relationship. If he or she is talking, he or she is at least interested in hearing what you have to say, put the onus on them and ask for their contribution. 7. Release Control. Always remember to detach yourself from the results in life. Aug 29, 2019 · 1. Practice ongoing self-care. Dealing with a toxic parent is taxing and often traumatic. Therapy is key if it’s an option for you. Kondili stresses the importance of talking to “someone who ... Adapted from my book, Daughter Detox: Recovering from An Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life, following are four steps you will have to take to get on the path of recovery: 1. Mourn the ...Sep 24, 2016 · 2. Mother Yourself. I didn't treat myself well, and it was catching up to me. I didn't eat right, make time for exercise, spend time with friends, or have hobbies. I didn't feel like I deserved good treatment—not from others, and not from myself. I knew changing that belief was central to improving my life. This year, take stock of how your relationship with your mother has affected your relationship with your romantic partner. First off, celebrate! You are a lucky person indeed. The quality of your relationship with your mother can greatly affect your sense of security and well-being in adulthood, especially for women.May 08, 2015 · 1. Find Common Interests: Spending relaxed time together while discovering common hobbies and interests helps deepen the mother-daughter bond. For example, we connect over yoga and almost always squeeze in a class when we are together. When we are apart, we chat on the phone about books we are reading. Sep 18, 2021 · 3) Recognize that she may not have the capacity to change. Grieve what you need to grieve. She may be living a miserable life, but not know or have the insight to change her belief system. She’s even less likely to understand the impact of her behavior on you and others. Thus, you have to grieve. Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance.Aug 15, 2020 · So for your own peace of mind, adopt a compassionate approach. It’s better to think “I feel sorry for her” than “I hate her.”. 3. Refuse to argue. Arguing with a narcissistic mother is futile because she’s incapable of seeing anyone else’s point of view, and she’s a pathological liar. “A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop ... Issues like substance abuse or mental illness can get in the way of addressing family conflict. If your daughter is willing, a family counselor may be able to help the two of you work through your problems. If your daughter refuses to work on the relationship, going to counseling on your own will help you deal with the situation.Once an addict enters recovery, they must evaluate their friendships and eliminate the unhealthy ones. A recovered addict can rebuild their healthy friendships. The friends will have to adapt to a new, sober lifestyle for the recovering addict. Some friendships will not survive, even with the best intentions.Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. Tell the people you are close to about your experiences. Acknowledging the truth of the past and having the courage to talk about it openly is crucial to your healing process. As a child, shame or fear might have compelled you to keep the abuse a secret. Voicing your pain will help you let go of it. Hopefully, members of your family will be ...Set realistic expectations. During your healing journey, you will likely get healthier but this does not mean that your mother will change. Be prayerful that she does, but the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12a, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”. When someone shows you who they are, you would be wise to believe them. Sep 28, 2019 · In my Romanian culture, there’s a saying that goes like this „what you don’t like, you won’t do to others” and it feels like this is really capturing the essence of what it means to be ... Jul 15, 2009 · Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance. Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. Apr 26, 2016 · Make The First Move. If you're feeling the need to repair your toxic relationship, make the first move. "Waiting for your mother to make the first move will only breed more resentment," Graham ... May 07, 2018 · We are not responsible to fix our mother’s faults and brokenness. God is responsible for our mothers, not us. 2. You need to grieve your losses. “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”. - Psalm 27:10. There comes a time we need to accept to the reality of our difficult mom and grieve the death of our ... Aug 31, 2018 · 1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle. 2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease. 3. So let's talk the step-by-step process for dealing with a toxic mother. What You Will Learn Step #1. Understand That It's Okay to Walk Away Step #2. It's Okay to Try and Make It Work Step #3. Be Honest and Real with Yourself Step #4. Reduce the Time You Spend with Her Step #5. Be Careful of Old Patterns Step #6. See a Therapist Step #7.The Hardest Two Words: "I'm Sorry". The power of a sincere apology cannot be overestimated. You can't just offer a blanket "I'm sorry," though, and expect dramatic results. It's essential to ...Jun 11, 2013 · Step 1: Set Up the Meeting. Schedule in advance a time and date to meet. Inform your mother in advance what the meeting will be about. Decide if it will take place in a private place, like your living room, or in a public place, such as a coffee shop. Weigh the pros and cons of a public versus private meet-up. Aug 29, 2019 · 1. Practice ongoing self-care. Dealing with a toxic parent is taxing and often traumatic. Therapy is key if it’s an option for you. Kondili stresses the importance of talking to “someone who ... Jun 30, 2022 · Causes Of Mother And Son Relationship Problems. Insecurity: Possessive, over-protective, manipulative, abusive, and narcissistic behavior originates from a mother’s insecurity. Fear of losing control of her life, feeling ignored, financial problems, a divorce or separation, losing a job, etc. can trigger insecurity. Sep 15, 2018 · How to fix a mother-daughter relationship is a question with many answers. But it can’t be done in a day. As long as underlying issues aren’t dealt with, you’ll have problems. Try to follow this mother-daughter relationship advice to redevelop your bond and give up control on issues that aren’t yours to control. Grieve the loss. "But she's still alive," you say. That may be true, but death is only one form of loss. Many with toxic mothers need to grieve the loss of a loving relationship with their mother, as it will likely never be. Expecting it to change will likely only bring further heartache. I realize this can be painful to admit, but God is ...Avoid passive-aggressive or indirect expressions of how you feel. Don't just assume that other people should know how you are feeling: learn how to be direct and tell them. Learn to say: “I feel really hurt when you say that” or. “I feel sad when you criticize me” or. “I feel afraid of your judgments”. Dec 18, 2019 · When you’ve committed to living a life of radical self-love, having strategies for how to respond to and even heal your toxic family relationships is imperative. Here are seven ways to pursue just that — and center your own emotional well-being in the process. 1. Get Clear. Reflect on your relationships with family. 5. Some injuries last a lifetime, but can be reasons to grow. Mental and emotional abuse is damaging. My mother often tried to manipulate me into believing everything in her life was someone else ...Occurrences of prolonged rages and angry outbursts are common. Criticism: Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder often hurl put-downs and insults at their children. As children are often seen by their BPD mothers as merely extensions of themselves, this may reflect feelings the parent has about themselves and represent a form of projection.Here are some ways you can begin to move on, according to experts, if you grew up with a toxic mom. 1 Start Therapy Young woman visiting therapist counselor. Girl feeling depressed, unhappy and...Set realistic expectations. During your healing journey, you will likely get healthier but this does not mean that your mother will change. Be prayerful that she does, but the Bible says in Proverbs 13:12a, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”. When someone shows you who they are, you would be wise to believe them. Sep 18, 2019 · To heal, you need to disconnect emotionally and possibly physically from your hurtful mother. Decide how much contact with her you will have. Build meaningful connections with others. Did you know... Jul 15, 2009 · Minimize the feeling of obligation to them. Keep a neutral position. If certain subjects always end in an argument, avoid them and keep the conversation neutral. If a family member insists you agree with them or insults you when you don't, keep your distance. Dec 01, 2020 · Be kind. It’s rarely productive to force things, but there’s something to be said for “fake it til you make it.”. When you find yourself in a rut after a fight, sometimes it helps to ... Get Unstuck. Waiting for your mother to approach you won't change anything but taking that first step toward attempting to heal your relationship may. Change the manner in which you approach your mother. Over time, she will likely have to change her response in order to continue communicating with you. derby city wide garage sale 2022 mapdisplay homes marsden parkm9a3 vs p320wbrz weather live